Have u ever thought of depravity?... There must be something to be seen in it, felt, expressed... But what might it be?...
I have often wondered if it is the simple joy of going past the boundaries society sets on our lives, our freedom... Or maybe the human need to be animalistic..., to fill his dark hours with debauchery and the rush of the great hunt or revel in the essence of competition, the ultimate goal to win,... by hook or by crook.
What then do ppl do to prevent us from reacting to our animalistic beginnings and our bestial desires? And why do we do or damnedest to avoid what some feel is right and correct?...
Sometimes, when i help the ppl i noe and guide them onto the right path as society dictates, i wonder, why. Why do i bother, why is this necessarily the right path?, why do i feel so lousy after doin something i know is good? Why do i help others only to feel underappreciated days, sometimes mere hours later... Why do i even give a clueless girl a special place in my life? She refuses to believe i feel for her, and wouldn't it be easier to hide? Hide in my books as i used to. Away from the world that hurts, to fulfill in my dreams the pride I have in what i've done, and throw away all modesty and show them my talents. To be as inconsiderate as i want to be, to do what i want to do. To lose control of the walls around my anger, to fully control the fuse that sparks away.
I only have one answer, and even saying it in my mind makes it sound hollow and empty... I am me, this is who i am, and the ones who know me are not here.....